Yelling

Almost everyone has done it. From my three year old yelling at her little brother, “those are my toys!” To her mother angrily telling her she was too loud and woke her baby brother up. The fact of the matter is it takes an enormous about of self-control and awareness to NOT yell, when we get wrapped up in our emotions. (Remember we model the behavior our little ones will exhibit). Professionally, I have managed to cut out yelling almost completely. There are some times when I have to yell, but I also preface it with, “You, students, are making me yell and I HATE yelling.” They know it’s true, but because of the way our society is, yelling, at times, is the only way to grab their attention. I found a blog titled, “10 Things I Learned When I Stopped Yelling At My Kids.” In the blog, she, makes many good points. My favorite ones are as follows; • I can’t always control my kids’ actions, but I can always control my reaction. • Incredible moments can happen when you don’t yell. • Often times, I am the problem, not my kids. • Taking care of me helps me to not yell. I feel these points are so simply put, but their message is powerful. I think, many times the heart of the issue is that WE, as adults, are the problem. Many times when my daughter is not listening to me it is because she is struggling to get my attention, because I am focusing on her brother. It’s not that I don’t love her; it’s just that a baby requires more attention than a toddler. The same is true in a classroom with 30 plus students. Maybe that student lacks the attention they need from their family life and they seek it out in the classroom. Most of the time they do not care what kind of attention they receive whether it be good, bad, or ugly; in their minds it is attention. Not yelling requires more work. If you don’t yell, then what do you do? From time outs, sticker charts, behavior modification plans, there are my different strategies with lots of different resources. Find what works for your kids/students and use that. Many times we tend to lean to our personal preference, which may not be the best for the small one whose behavior you are trying to change. Adapting a plan that caters the child’s personality and needs will ensure greater success!